And the votes are coming
My application to Hogwarts Elite was posted yesterday and I have to say I'm feeling pretty good. So far so good I got 3 Squib votes and it seems they're liking my app, which is always good because I definitely want to get in.
The guided tour I'm setting together for the Spanish Club in here is giving me a hard time since there is practically no information about the building. I hate the idea of only giving general info about Art Nouveau without really getting into specifics, but the specifics seemed to be nowhere to be found! Other than that, I think I might be able to pull this one off and keep some of my sanity (just some).
Had lunch with V yesterday, who sat there and listened to me rant about being the only girl among archers. He was nice and sweet about it, and as usual, his advice was the best.
Went to the movies with the Couch Girls Monday night. We had a little reunion session with "The Amytiville Horror" and lovely shirtless Ryan; followed by junk food and a 3 hour talk. Gotta love those two.
Finally, my shoulder is bothering me, but I think I might pull the 144 arrows of the tournament this weekend. I have to... Artemisa, goddess of archery, knows I'm too damn proud to back off right now.
Those were the updates for now. I'll check back with the vote counting later...
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Those Winter Nights
Ups and downs this week. I overslept 3 days of this week, something is clearly wrong with my body.
And yesterday, the meeting was a mess. I swear I had to take deep breaths in order to calm myself down and not run my mouth to some of those people.... argh.
Later on, we decided to go out with the girls and one boy (poor saint) to eat something and I had to say I had a delicious time.
I've forgotten how fun it was to discuss Eco and Dumas' books in the light of political philosophy. Men, I had forgotten how great it is to talk about my musketeers.
It was nice to be reminded of that.
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This is the story of a girl...
... who one day woke up to find her world upside down. For no apparent reason, nothing seemed to fit the way it supposed to.
Things that used to be nice and easy, were now a source of angst without a clear justification.
This is the story of a girl that is trying to find her center again.
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Bronze
Well, I'm back.
It was hectic, it was exhausting.
Finals took all I had left... but it was worth it. I shoot my best at qualifications and I made it into the first 4 that got to shoot eliminations.
Second day, with 4 hours of sleep, I went there. I lost the first round because I was not focused enough, which left me fighting for bronze. And I won it.
I'm proud of it... I went there, I gave my best and I earned a medal that means a lot to me. It might be just bronze, but like a good old friend said "there are 3 places in the podium and you have to go through them all".
Being Team Captain was hard... especially with some of the boys. And one thing was clear to me: sometimes, it's not easy to be the only archer girl in a club full of boys. Praises go to the other archer girls, that stood there by my side while I was shooting. They encouraged me and supported me and now I'm ready to speed up my training and join them at First Division.
I'm mentally exhausted again... I'm tired and sore. But I'm happy.
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You think that I'm strong....
L. was here last night. She needed a place to crush before heading to lessons early this morning. And it was a huge bless to have her here. I've missed our talks. I know that we're both awfully busy with life, masters and all that jazz, but it was still nice to have her around like old times. I was telling her about A. and the date last week and I was able to say "Can you believe the timing of this? 5 years later, the big idiot!" and she totally got it.
Of course, then I drove her nuts with archery talk.... she really is a saint. After a very detailed description of the 11 hour tournament featuring 3 exes, I told her I was able to block all the ghosts from the past and just shoot. And that I nailed it, but that it had taken all that I have with me left. Then I told her "this damn strenght all people seem to think that I have".
She looked at me the way she always does when she is about to point a fact that is pretty much obvious to everyone but me and slowly said "You seem to have prove you're strong. Did you not hear the story you just told me? You stood there, blocking everyone away and you shot the best ever. Le, that is strenght".
I contemplated the matter and replied "Nope. That was pride. I could not let them see me fail"
She replied, like it was not big deal "Maybe that is the source of your strenght..." That girl, always with those witty wise comments and she has no idea.
Maybe she is right... maybe that is the source of the so called strenght people think I have. God knows that I'd endure almost anything in order to overcome myself.
Well, we'll see this weekend at National Finals.
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Bullseye
Once gain, I came back. After the second injury of the year, I went to an archery tournament again.
It was hard: I've had injuries, tiredness, little time to train, sorrow from a somewhat broken heart to deal with. And at the beginning I thought I could not make it. It was too hard.
But then it hit me. I needed to start believing it myself.
I had to stop wishing for people coming to me and telling me I could do it. To stop wishing for him to do it. He is not going to. Not anymore
It was time to let go.
And I did... I finally did. I focued on each arrow, giving it all to my concentration, not letting anything of the rest to get inside my head.
I'm physically sore and mentally drained. But it was worth it. It felt good.
I cannot wait for Finals in two weeks.
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